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Monthly Archives: February 2012
Monster, toddler, or drunk
In “How I met your mother” (it’s true, every once in a while when I am not working or reading to my daughter I watch something on television) they play a game called “drunk or kid?” (Marshall reveals stupid things he has done and everyone has to guess if he was drunk or a kid). Sometimes there are monsters, bears, dinosaurs, etc. in my daughter’s books that seem to represent toddlers or kids. They are unreasonable, do not listen, shout, slur their words, do not do what they are supposed to, demand specific foods, refuse to sleep, sleep in strange places… You see where I am going with this. In a new poll series (“Toddler or Drunk”), vote whether or not the image looks like it represents a drunk guy or a toddler. Your response probably reveals which one you spend more time around these days.
“You just ate my baby” (or “don’t read this book while eating chicken”)
That’s right! It is a whole series of posts about being eaten! From children in ovens, to grandmothers in wolves, to polite carnivores, to. . . reality? In a number of books animals talk about how humans are going to eat them. In Jan Brett’s Hedgie’s Surprise, Tomten eats hen’s eggs. He doesn’t only eat them, he asks her each morning, “Henny! Have you got a little yummy for my hungry, hungry tummy?” Hen doesn’t really mind that her babies are being eaten (or that Tomten just seems generally really annoying) until she sees Goosey-Goosey’s goslings, her biological clock starts ticking (or whatever it is that happens to hens that want to have babies instead of letting them be eaten), and then she tries to find a way to save her eggs. In Ruth V. Gross’s retelling of The Bremen Town Musicians, the rooster worries about having his head chopped off and being put into soup. Humans (or human like creatures in the case of Tomten) are inherently bad in many of these tales, partially because of their cruelty to animals. And, by cruelty I mean completely normal behavior. 
May I eat you, please?
If the world represented in children’s books somehow became real, someone would probably ask to eat you at least once a week. I am unsure what is more disturbing, the act or the courtesy with which the question is usually posed. In Maurice Sendak’s Pierre: A cautionary tale in Five Chapters and a Prologue (the moral is, “care,” and it is fantastic) the lion not only repeatedly asks Pierre if he would mind being eaten, but also explains “And then you will be inside of me.” I guess if I were going to be consumed, I would appreciate the honesty? Big Black Bear (who is not really that big, he’s only three years old) informs his host-prey-friend that he has eaten other girls in Wong Herbert Yee’s Big Black Bear. In Martin Waddell and Leonie Lord’s The Super Hungry Dinosaur the dinosaur (who is super hungry) asks Hal if he could eat him, his mom, his dad, or his dog (strangely Hal replies no to all requests).
At the end of these stories the would-be-eater and the would-be-eaten usually end up friends. Manners will get you everywhere.
What would scare you more, someone trying to eat you or someone politely requesting to do so?
I’m ALIVE! Can I get you anything?
The ending of this version of Little Red Riding Hood, by Andrea Wisnewksi (retold and illustrated) scares me because it is what I imagine my daughter’s grandma (my mom) would do if she were recently cut out of a wolf’s stomach: offer my daughter something to eat or a fun game to play. Why sit and recover from having recently been digested if you could instead whip a little something up for your darling granddaughter? 
Full frontal nudity or baking children?
Revealing something special about how people determine what is appropriate for children, many people have had problems (see Colbert clip) with Mickey’s nudity in Maurice Sendak’s wonderful In the Night Kitchen. Most kids have probably seen other little kids without clothes, their parents without clothes, or, at the very least, themselves without clothes. How many of them have thought about baking their friends? This is not what is generally considered controversial. Take a good look at those chefs. Tell me what worries you more – a little naked boy or mustached men baking a child. My daughter seems bothered by neither of these things though and has the book practically memorized.
KISS ME! TICKLE ME! LOVE ME!
In case you have not watched Sesame Street recently, a good portion of it is dedicated to “Elmo’s World.” Elmo is a little, needy red monster, who has his own computer and goldfish. While Ernie and Bert share a room with single beds, Elmo has a special room where he keeps a mime, Mr. Noodle, whom he dominates and mocks. In books, Elmo tells each child he or she is special. He loves YOU! He wants YOU to kiss, hug, and tickle him! He wants YOU to buy his stuff. When Elmo grows up he is going to have seven girlfriends, but make each one feel so special, none of them will suspect the truth. We have books about Elmo going potty, Elmo going to sleep in his own big boy bed, and I appreciate them for helping my daughter learn about important transitions. I love her joy and therefore appreciate anything that makes her so happy, but he worries me. Sometimes when I read a story that ends “Now Elmo wants YOU to kiss him!” I want to turn to my daughter and tell her, “You know he says that to all the toddlers, right?”
Children's books 